I remembered who I was today.
I’m determined, motivated and love taking on new challenges. I don’t give up. Tell me I can’t do something, and I’m going to show you I can. Hit me with one stressful obstacle or JUST ONE MORE THING after another and I’m going to kick its ass and keep going.
I just haven’t been that person lately. I’ve been overwhelmed, unmotivated and just sick of dealing with everything. There are a lot of stressful things going on in my life right now, some good and some bad. While at my son’s college orientation last week, for instance, I traded e-mails with my soon-to-be-wed daughter regarding hotel room booking, and filled out important documents for my job while dealing with an uncertain situation there. This was after our basement flooded and we lost most of its contents. And that was after my kids have experienced several deaths in the past few months: a special coach and teacher, the dog, a close friend.
While water poured into our basement from the floor drain last weekend, I had a moment (after spending an hour or so unsuccessfully trying to bail it out) when I just slumped over and cried. No more.
I’ve also been questioning myself and beating myself up quite a bit more than usual. I’m thinking things like: I’m not qualified for anything but what I do; I’m not sure I even do that very well anymore; Am I making good decisions?; What was I thinking? My confidence is low, obviously.
But this morning while working out with my trainer, he challenged me to lift more, to push more and to learn why. I accepted and met all of those challenges, as I always do with him.
I don’t say, “meh, I don’t feel like it”. I say, “BRING IT”.
Thanks for the reminder, James.